Shower Thoughts

Shampoo. I think about what they put in it. Cocamidopropylamine Oxide. The fuck? Someone makes them up surely. Chuckling at shampoo HQ, making a smorgasbord of words I forgot from Chemistry GCSE. Smells nice. I don't question it for much longer.

When I scrub it into my hair, my scalp shifts and slides around my skull, an unnerving sensation I try to move my attention from. Like itchy tights, exam hand cramps. Makes me think of what being scalped would feel like. Would you feel the wind on your skull? 

I think of Blood Meridian. I haven't read it, watched a Youtube summary. I think scalping is a major theme. Wikipedia identifies it as one of the contenders for the mythical 'Great American Novel'; such an American notion in and of itself. No one has chosen the Great Swedish Novel or the Great Australian Novel. And the Great British Novel - well that's just anything Dickens, right? 

This leads me to sing half-remembered songs from the musical Oliver! for the rest of my shower.

Personal Statement

 From a young age, I have always been passionate about improving my socio-economic position; leading me to want to pursue a degree, the statistically most likely way to do so. I have an overwhelmingly verbose lexicon to ensure of my immense academic propensity, and yet adopt a warm, personal tone - as though I could jump right off the page and into your lecture hall. I am excellent at independent critical thinking which is why I want to go to your university and learn what to think.

I recently read a Very Important Book by a Very Important Author. Despite the fact that a massive number of academics throughout the history of academia have discussed at length their findings on this V.I.B. and V.I.A., you will find the most compelling insight to be mine - a seventeen year old who actually only read the first few chapters.

Furthermore, I have an commendable work ethic, which I have developed from climbing the hills and valleys of panicked procrastination and deadline-induced manic work. I believe this would make me ideal for a degree, where I would use the same unsustainable model of whiplash revision but suspect that meditation will solve my stress. 

Outside of my studies, I have completed literally every grade on all Western instruments (and continue working on my Grade 6 Sitar). In addition, I have competed in my fair share of Olympics. I am that mythical all-rounder that the Student Room worship and have completed part-time work as an Oxbridge admissions tutor for private schooled children called Rupert. All of these, combined with my unbridled lust for learning makes me, I believe, the ideal candidate to pay you lots of money.